What the hell kind of country is this?

So I set out today to go for a swim before I headed into Uni. I put my trunks, goggles and towel into my bag and went to Piscine Georges Drigny, about 3 minutes walk away. I paid my 3 Euros, oblivious to the fact that there was a student tariff and got changed. After trying and failing to work the fancy, pin code accessible lockers I settled for conventional methods and slotted my Euro coin in and went.

I was slightly worried that I didn't have a swimming cap as I'm well aware at some pools this is an absolute no-no. With this on my mind I sheepishly walked around the corner and quickly scanned of the pool, sure enough, everyone in hats. As I approached, the life-guard, who by the way was about 65 (creepy) came over and introduced himself. I thought, ah how nice, what a lovely man, wants to get know the people he's guarding.

Quickly enough I realised there was more to his visit than a welcome. I couldn't quite get what he was saying as he mumbled through his wrinkled face but I guessed and apologised for not having a cap. He was confused by my comment and shook his head. In actual fact, he told me that I couldn't come swimming because...wait for it.... I WAS WEARING SWIMMING SHORTS AND NOT TIGHT TRUNKS.

My first thought was, are you kidding? but he well and truly seemed insulted by my response of c'est vrai? How can this be? that wearing swim shorts is socially unacceptable or rude. They were completely black too, not even garish or offensive. He told me I could go and buy some from reception but to hurry as the pool was closing in 20 minutes. Dick.

I'd only brought change for the swim so I retreated home, 3 Euros less well off and nothing to show for it. Sure enough though, I went out and got myself some navy blue speedos and a cap later on. Safe to say when I tried them on at home I looked like a complete pillock. Cheers Jean, see you tomorrow.


On a more successful note, I've just come back from France vs Bosnia at the Stade de France. Average match but for 10 Euros it was a great experience, pretty awesome stadium and French football fans are just as crude as British ones with several people calling the Bosnian fans fils de put, meaning. Son's of bitch's (a much worse insult here than in the UK).